Tag Archive: Love


I have not run a marathon.  I haven’t even run a half marathon.  There have been no 5k’s either.  It’s been over a year since I’ve done any hiking.  While I love kayaking, my kidney issues eliminated that for most of last year.  Yes, I walk the dog twice a day and put in about 3 to 4 miles a day, but that is about it.  I go to bed early and get decent sleep.  

I’m tired. 

Some people worry I do too much.  Funny.  I think I do less than I ever have before.  Sometimes it’s not easy to put together three lessons a week, write this column, and perform my normal chaplain duties with the police department.  But, it’s not like I’m on overload.  Teaching double studies on Wednesday can strain the energy reserves, but it’s not all that bad.  Yes, Saturday night service and then again on Sunday morning is my most tiring venture, but ,then again, it’s not like I’m working a construction or roofing job.  

I’m just tired.  

Maybe I’m getting older and I’m starting to slow down.  The right knee is a little bit of a problem, and I’m sure there is some arthritis hanging around.  My family has been plagued with the big A through the generations.  I limp sometimes, but, as the doctor told me a few months ago, other than carrying a few extra pounds, I’m in good health.  

I’m tired in my brain.

I’m tired of death.  I actually prayed that this past Sunday during our prayer time in church.  I was honest with God.  I heard an affirming mumbling in the crowd.  It’s been one of those seasons.  Today I got word that a friend’s son died from an accidental overdose yesterday.  That will make the 18th person I have been associated with in some way who has died since three days before Thanksgiving.  That is 18 in 45 days.  I have had to face death once every 2 and a half days, and I’m sick and tired of it.  

Most of the people who have gone before us have been believers in Jesus Christ.  Yes, there is a great hope associated with people of the faith.  But, it still stings.  Jesus understood that sting.  In the beginning of his ministry he blessed those who mourn.  He connected with all of us in the loss of those we love.  Jesus understands and affirms our humanity and its relative limitations.  Later on, he wept at the death of Lazarus.  We don’t know why he wept, but his emotions came pouring out of him.  If Christ can weep so can I, and so can you.  

Tears display great love.  We don’t cry over those we don’t love (most of the time).  A friend of mine recently suffered the loss of his wife who battled cancer for years.  Even having time to prepare he said, “I don’t know where all the tears come from.”  I do!  They come from the heart.  

I’m tired of crying.

I got shocked yesterday.  I was looking at the obituaries from my mother’s funeral home and a local one as well.  I was shocked at the amount of young people who are dying in our communities.  I expected the old ones like me.  There were more than I expected in their 30’s and early 40’s.  Death has no respect of age or position.  

I’m tired of losing my friends and family.

A friend contacted me when my mom died.  He put it the best.  He said, “John, you know all the platitudes, and you can quote all the right verses.  However, death still sucks.”  I could have kissed him right there.  It does.  It’s the result of the curse, and the curse is Genesis 3 comes from sin.  I know all the facts.  It doesn’t make it any better.

There is only one answer.  Maybe I have crossed a line in my life where I will start to stare at the obituaries, looking for friends from long ago like my dad did.  Or maybe, I’m more aware than ever that there is an answer.  The only answer for the plague of death is for Jesus to return and redeem this world as he has said in the book of Revelation.  I used to think only the crazy people said things like, “Come quickly, Lord Jesus.”  Now I see that they aren’t crazy.  They are the realists.  

Come Lord Jesus.  I’m tired.  

Here we go!  Another decade is behind us and on to 2020 we go.  Ready or not!  If anyone has been reading this column for the past few years (amazing), you know I am not one for New Year’s Resolutions.  Statistics support my stand.  I will not go all out explaining my reluctance to put one iota of credence behind such resolutions.  I don’t want to bore you.  For the few that by this time next year can look back and credit your resolve, congratulations.  You are the less than 25% that made it.  For the other 75% plus…we have to find another way.

Most New Year’s Resolutions are trying to eliminate a negative aspect of our lives.  For many it’s a weight issue or a health problem.  I will admit, this year I ate more than I should have on Christmas Day.  My family went all out to fatten me up.  Like I need help?  

Others resolve to mend a relationship, get a new job, or make a change in their lives to improve their situation.  Often the midnight vow is forced upon the unsuspecting and the suspecting by those around him or her. Good intentions are not called into question.  Resolve.  That’s a different subject.

The biggest problem is most of our issues define who we are.  I have wrestled with my weight since I became an adult.  It has stabilized in the last 15 years, but it is still a struggle.  At one point, I went to the doctor and asked him for some medication to take the pounds off.  He let me in on a secret that most don’t want to hear.  He began to ask me the body shapes of my living relatives.  After a few minutes, we figured out I am the skinniest of them all.  Mom, Dad, 2 sisters and 1 brother have or had bigger weight issues than I do.  He looked me in the eye and said, “I hate to inform you, but most weight issues are hereditary in nature.”  What?  He went on, “You can diet, exercise, and get the pounds off however, the day you stop you will return to your current weight if not more.”  I knew it all along.  It’s in the genes and not the Levi type.  It’s who we are.  

Yes, we can exercise great self-control.  Yes, we can put the issues high on our priority list on a daily basis.  Yes, we can get some help, counseling, therapy and more.  However, in the end of the day, we might change the outside, but the identity still lingers within us.

I have high respect for the alcoholic who goes to weekly meetings on a continual basis.  A friend of mine has been sober and attending AA meetings for over 30 years.  Each day is still a victory of great worth to him.  Ask him why he still goes to meetings and I know what you will hear.  “I have to,” will be the reply.  Why?  It’s who he is.  You might not see it.  He knows.  He knows like we all know.  We don’t tell anybody.  

So how does a person change?  Some would say a traumatic event has to happen to wake an individual up.  Others would say, “You have to hit bottom.”  A nihilist might say, “We can’t so don’t try.”  There is a good part of me that agrees with the nihilist.  I’ve been counseling people for over 17 years now.  I have seen over 1,000 people in that time.  I’ve heard story after story.  I’m not sure very many if any actually change.  I feel they adapt.  Doesn’t sound very hopeful, does it?  

For me, that is where Jesus comes in.  I have no faith in man to make himself better no matter what the humanists say.  Something or someone has to change us.  The Apostle Paul wrote that “we are a new creature, old things are passed away, all has become new.”  In Luke 6, the good doctor wrote that Jesus said, “no good tree bears bad fruit and no bad tree bears good fruit.”  So what makes the difference?

Jesus went on to say it was a heart issue.  Our inside determines what goes on outside.  Jesus came to save his people from their sin.  Our sin is the net result of our active hearts.  Most think that when Jesus saves us from our sin it makes us good people.  Well, not quite.  The old man still wars with the new heart.  Often the old man wins.  One of the reasons he wins is we think being a good moral person is the goal.  Not so.

Jesus, in John 17, defined a changed person.  He did not say that person was a law keeper.  He did not say that person gets it all right.  He said we will be known by our love.  He went on to define that love as being between believer to believer.  It was to be so amazing people would stop and pay attention.  The church was to be a place where we lay down our lives for one another not a place where we sing some songs, pray a few prayers and listen to the preacher for 20 minutes.  It was to be a place where we don’t run from our issues but to them.  Jesus talked more about grace and love than he did about the law.  Why?  He knew who we are and knew we couldn’t go it alone.  Yes, the battle rages but when Jesus brings change, love wins.  How is your church known?  How are you known by others?  In 2020, I want God to continue to change my heart.  Join me.  If enough can get together and lay their lives down for each other we might not be a church but w will be the church.  Happy New Year!

Birthdays don’t seem to bother me.  Some people freak out when they turn 40, 50 or 60.  I like to look at it like a fine bottle of wine.  It gets better with age.  That is until you have to get up off the floor or climb a ladder.  Forget running.  That was over some time ago.  

I do think the athletes that turn 40 and seem to get stronger and better have to be taking an additive.  The body changes and it usually is not for the better.  I want to know one thing.  Why are they printing newspapers and books with smaller print?  My wife is laughing.  Hold on, let me see what is causing her to laugh so hard.  Oh, it’s not the print.  It’s my eyeballs.  I don’t think that is funny.  See, things do change.  Basically, they wear out.  

Turning 60 this year still doesn’t bother me all that much.  I don’t remember my 50th, but I do remember the 40th birthday.  I was in youth ministry, and there was a huge afternoon party.  My friends and family celebrated all day long.  I figured out how to avoid big parties.  We vacation during my birthday week every year.  It just so happens that my wife’s work schedule has that week off, so we go away.  I might be getting older but I’m getting wiser (I think).

I’ve been thinking a lot about how much has changed in the last 20 years.  It would take the entire newspaper to write about all of them.   I’ve obviously referred to some of the change the human body goes through.  Other than that, let’s laugh or cry a bit about some of the changes that have occurred.

The biggest one is in most peoples hands.  The cell phone now dominates our lives.  I was looking at a news report, and, in the background, a lot of people were holding up their cell phones.  I’m not sure when the cell phone became a camera, but it just looks funny to see everybody not so much paying attention to what is going on but making sure they get it recorded.  Remember the big camcorders? Now, our cellphones are a camcorder.  Crazy if you think about it.  

Automobiles are close to driving themselves.  My Toyota truck will blare at me if I go out of lane without using the blinker.  It will brake for me and tell me to brake.  It will dim the high beam headlights and release the cruise control if a car is going slower in front of me.  They are real close to not needing a driver.  I really don’t know what I think about these things.  On one hand it’s intriguing .  On the other it’s a bit scary.  All I can think about is the Terminator movies.  Man against machine.

Medicine and medical care has changed drastically.  Anybody notice you have to be very sick or hurt to see a real doctor in the emergency room anymore?  I think general practitioners are going in the same direction.  

On the good side, more operations are done with little holes in our bodies instead of gigantic slices.  Cancer is battled better than ever before.  It seems like they are discovering new treatments and medicines weekly. 

Politics have changed.  I was talking last week to a friend who pointed out the biggest change that we may not be aware of.  He pointed out that politics used to work well when everybody played by the same rules.  As an example, whoever was elected president was respected and honored for being in that position.  Not anymore.  Now nobody is playing by the rules, and it is total chaos.  Respect and honor are gone.  Don’t point fingers.  It’s everybody.  There seem to be no rules in the political world anymore.  That only means it’s only a matter of time till no rules disseminate down into society.

Shopping has changed big time.  Today I ordered a weed-wacker over the Internet from Home Depot.  Mine died today.  It has numerous attachments.  I discovered on line that the replacement is only available over the Internet.  So I ordered it and will pick it up at the store next week.  Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I was in something called a shopping mall.  Amazon does me fine.  

How about television?  It was not that long ago we had five channels at best and had to hold our mouths right to get certain UHF channels.  At that it was going to be fuzzy.  Now we have hundreds of channels available, and at times we are still bored.  This might have happened longer than 20 years ago but one of the changes is that we actually pay for television.  It used to be free.  That’s right!  We can pay for radio if we want to as well.  What will happen next?  We will probably have to pay for water in a bottle, and it might cost more than gasoline.  Never mind.  It’s already happened. 

  Church has changed too.  We can live broadcast with an I-phone now.   We can get church without ever being there.   We talk more about music than we talk about Jesus.  

Who says we hate change.  Change is the norm.

There is one thing that will never change.  His name is Jesus.  The Bible says he is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  He doesn’t change the rules.  His grace is always sufficient.  Count on it!

I am so glad God did not gift me with enough talent to end up in professional sports.  That might sound a little odd if you know me.  What sports nut wouldn’t want to hit a home run to win the game, catch a touchdown pass, or hit a three pointer at the buzzer to send the crowd into a frenzy?  There was a day I thought I would trade with the devil to be able to play in the big leagues.  If I had to choose, it would be baseball.  But no.  Johnny wasn’t tall enough, fast enough or talented enough, to even think about playing in college.  

So, what makes me so glad God didn’t give me these gifts?  The professional athlete lives under a microscope.  There is no room to fail on or off the field.  If your opinions don’t match up with the philosophies of the media you don’t stand a chance, even if you are of all-star quality.  

On the field you can’t drop the ball when the game is on the line.  Just ask Bill Buckner.  You can’t call a non-existent time out.  Just ask Chris Weber.  You can’t strike out with the bases loaded.  Just ask all the living baseball players.  Any of these incidents and plenty more will make you a goat and that doesn’t mean “Greatest of All Time.”  

Off the field you better have your act together as well.  You have to be politically aligned with society or the media (choose one).  Just ask Curt Schilling.  You cannot get injured while at home.  Just ask Ken Griffey Jr.  You can’t make a mistake.  It’s not as much a forgiving world as we thought.

The defeated man walked in my office with his head down.  Strange.  He is usually upbeat and quite congenial.  Not today.  With tears in his eyes, he told a story I’ve heard way too often.  He made a mistake.  His reasoning wasn’t all that bad, but, his final decision was a mistake.  With no history in his file he was fired.  One mistake after 10 years of faithful service, and he’s gone.  Due to his age, he has not been able to find a comparable job.  Now he has to work two jobs just to break even.  

When it comes to the law, look out!  Seriously.  Look out.  When I was in youth ministry, I drove the kids crazy at times.  Whenever I went to an 18-year-olds birthday party I would give them clear advice.  “Don’t get in trouble with the law,” I’d say with a smile.  “Because,” I went on, “you are now an adult and will suffer adult consequences.”  I have visited too many people in prison.  As I talked to many behind bars, it is clear that there are a lot of one-time offenders locked up.  One major wrong decision can cost us big time.

How many times do we eat at a restaurant and get good service and good food only to have one bad meal cause us to forget the 99 good ones?  Apps like Yelp give us the opportunity to rip someone to the core even though at the same time, we don’t know them.  Maybe at the restaurant the cook didn’t show up.  Maybe, the health department was in the business at the same time causing all sorts of disruption.  Maybe, the boss’ spouse was in a major car accident and everybody was distracted and worried.  Instead of being full of grace, we can be full of ourselves, looking to declare our goodness and everybody else’s failure.

I talk to too many husbands and wives who say they forgive their spouse but keep an accurate record, bringing it up every chance they get.  It also amazes me how much the negative erases anything positive.  

There is a case I’m familiar with where a young man was a steller employee.  Everyone sang his praise.  He had a bad case of “people pleasing” and went way over the top to make people happy, including his boss.  But then he totally screwed up.  He made some decisions that were not sound at all.  Sure he lost his job.  He did deserve that.  But what surprised him and his family was the total abandonment by friends and family.  

His boss decided to review his entire case file.  With over 400 cases in the file he found 3 errors.  His boss used them to bring judgment and ridicule upon him.  397 to 3 ,and, meanwhile he was a no good bum.  

We live in a critical world and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.  It’s what makes Jesus stand out.  It says in the Scriptures that he “spreads our sins from the east to the west.”  Better yet, it says he “remembers them no more.”  That’s grace.  No, it’s grace on steroids.  With Jesus we can fall and get back up.  The only ones Jesus was harsh with were the Pharisees, who had the responsibility in his day to find the law breakers and bring judgment.  If you hear of a faith that is based on man being good, run.  If you hear of one named Jesus, who heals the broken hearted and sets the prisoners (law breakers) free.  Run to him.  It’s true.  With Jesus, we don’t have to be perfect.  He was the perfect one.  Perfect in the law.  Perfect in love, grace and mercy.  My faith is in Him.  Get up off the floor.  Let’s take a walk together as we learn and grow in His grace.  

I turn 60 this week.  I have been told it’s all downhill from here.  I like downhill.  It’s those long walks up the hill to sled back down that are tiring.  It’s the slow climb to the top, the clickity-clacking sound the rollercoaster makes that drives me nuts.  That downhill ride is a blast.  I’m looking forward to the next 20 years if God is so willing to give me that many.  The ride should be a blast, and I don’t even plan on retiring anytime soon.  I can’t.  

I really don’t have a problem with age.  Some people freak out at certain birthdays that end in zero.  I have not had that problem at all.  My father retired around the age of sixty.  I watched him go from being a vibrant member of society to having the weather and history channel be the highlight of his day.  On the other hand, my father-in-law could not retire and worked a profitable life into his 80’s.  That’s how I desire to go out.  With my boots still on.  Let’s face it, there is only so much golf one can play to maintain happiness.  

I look at life as being in four twenty-year segments.  The first 20 years are the learning years.  Pretty much based on the path of the first 20 your life is set in a certain direction.  It might deviate to the left or right a little, but the die is cast.  

The second 20 years are the “years of change.”  We go from single to married.  We become parents.  Often in our world, many will change careers.  Usually this will occur in the “years of change.”  It’s during this time our income changes, and probably our housing will change a few times as well.  Few live in the same house anymore.  The change is so fast, it tends to eat us for lunch.  In today’s world, it’s worse than ever.  For those who can adjust, it works well.  For those who struggle with change, they will tend to be in the counselors office a lot or should be.  Those 20 years fly by.

The third set of 20’s tend to be the settling years.  It’s these years that empty nest sets in, and we get to have some of the life we thought it would be without kids.  Grandkids make life grand  if you get them in your 50’s.  I always say, “If I knew grandkids were this good, I would have skipped kids.”  In many respects I think I did skip kids.  Life was going so fast, I struggle to remember.  

From 40 to 60 we tend to settle into set patterns, set lifestyles, and set habits.  The only time it changes is if something goes really wrong.  We tend to stay in our jobs at this point even if we are not too fond of them.  Life can get quite boring in the settling years.  We go from chasing kids and playing softball to reading books and watching television.  I guess now we don’t so much watch television.  Instead we surf the Internet.  We end up with dogs and cats who take the place of our kids.  

So here I am entering the last 20 years.  Yes, I realize many are living beyond the age of eighty.  It’s not that I’m forgetting that fact.  I simply see the last twenty as twenty plus.  The only difference is it gets slower.  I am entering the wisdom years.

For many, it’s the age the torch is passed from our parents to us.  We lose them and wake up to find we are the ones the kids and others come to for advice.  Not only that, but, by this time, we are what-ever we are.  Few pick up new practices or habits at this point.  You can tell when you enter the wisdom years.  Conversations begin with “I remember when…”

The real difference in the wisdom years is we now know what works and doesn’t work.  We have tried different things, traveled many different paths, listened to just about everybody and deep down we now know.  Our words “I think” become “I know.”  The only problem we face is will anybody listen.  

In Biblical days, the wisdom years were respected.  There was value in experiences and life journeys.  In the church, we might call them “elders.”  It is not a position in my opinion of anyone below the wisdom years.  There was a reason God wanted older people in a place of spiritual care.  We should be not so much mellower but rather understand by now that the only thing that does work in our life’s relationships is God’s love and grace.  God only knows how many disappointments it takes one to learn this lesson.  

One reason I believe the older generation stopped being respected is we stopped learning.  The wisdom years don’t end learning.  We are always to be learning.  Why?  So our wisdom can be applied to the day at hand.  We should learn the new fangled technology.  We should read relevant material and listen to today’s music.  Why? You ask again.  It shows we care for the next generation more than than our own.  

There is a job to be done according to Psalm 78:4 – 6 that reads, “We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done…so that the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born.”  Forget retirement.  We need to not just tell them.  We need to show them.  

He hung up the phone.  He knew it was trouble.  He knew deep down it would be the last time he spoke with his brother.  No one was going to die; but the relationship, which was on life support, was.  

It had been going on for some time.  It was one of those ,what do they call it, enabling relationships.  It wasn’t so much that they needed each other.  Due to the blood line, they were expected to tolerate each other.  

The older brother was a master manipulator.  He was a juggler.  He did not juggle things.  He juggled people.  Some might say he was a narcissist.  Others might go so far as to label him a psychopath or a sociopath.  It didn’t need to be labeled.  He simply used people for his own benefit.   

The younger brother knew something was wrong.  It started one Christmas.  He got a race track he always wanted.  Making a long story very short, the  older brother ended up ruining it and blaming it on the defeated youngster.  

Part 2 was even worse.  Their sister wore wigs.  That’s what they did back in the 70’s.  One day the wig ended up with a huge hunk cut out of it.  It was clear that a razor was the weapon of choice.  Guess who got blamed and severely punished?  You know it!  Even though the younger brother had a very viable alibi, he couldn’t stand up for himself yet.  During the punishment, the older brother never said a word.  He won!  That his how his life was to be.  The older one never lost. 

A few years later, during a game of one-on-one street hockey in the yard, the relationship issues began to show the ugly side.  In the middle of the game, a friend of the older son rode past.  “I’ll be right back.  Wait for me,” he yelled to his brother.  The younger brother waited.  And he waited.  After what seemed like an hour, he quietly walked off the court.  That day began the descent.  He knew it ,but, as he used to say, “That’s my brother.”

After the younger brother married, the couple were sitting at a table engaging in conversation with the, by now, arrogant juggler.  In mid sentence, a more prominent family member walked in the room.  Without finishing his thought, the juggler dropped the conversation in mid sentence and chased after his next victim.  As the younger brother’s wife looked at him, he shrugged his shoulders and muttered what everybody had been muttering for some 30 years now, “That’s just him.  Don’t worry about it.”  

The stories could go on and on.  Throughout their life the older brother took on the image of the Biblical older brother, especially the one in the Prodigal Son story found in Luke 15.  He knew how to keep those he wanted close and satisfied.  He also knew how to manipulate the others.  

He had a good reputation with those on the outside.  He knew what words to use.  It was like he was a card shark, counting cards and knowing the percentages for his next play.  When God is somehow attached to users and manipulators, it makes the picture very blurry.

I have come to learn that, in many family situations, the idea of the older vs. younger brother situation in Luke 15 is not just a classic parable by Jesus but a picture of actual co-dependent relationships in our families, and without question, in our churches.  

It seems that when love, grace ,and mercy are to be idealized, the abuser (yes, that is what they are) finds fertile soil to toil his manipulative practices. We often forget about the older son in the Prodigal Son parable.  He doesn’t seem like a primary character.  Not only that, but we like to focus on the Father and the wayward younger son due to the incredible love and grace.  It’s easy to forget about what looks like a successful, obedient, faithful son.  

I have looked at that one for years.  My eyes were opened as I sat listening to teaching on this one.  The speaker looked right at me (it seemed like it) when he said, “Few realize the older son did not love his father either.  He only wanted what his father had.”  Ahh, who says the Bible isn’t grand.  They understood modern psychology thousands of years ago.  At the end of the day, those who use people, juggle their relationships to look good, and abuse those closest to them with words and attacks don’t love the person in front of them.  They want what they have.  They want their attention and praise.  

The younger brothers spent years trying to figure out what to do with these enabling, co-dependency relationships in their family and in their church.  I think I know why the younger son asked his dad for his inheritance and took off when he got it.  He wanted to get out of the relationship with the older brother.  When he came home, he did not come home to make amends with the brother.  He came home to the father.  

After so many years, the younger brother has figured out what is the best way to handle this one.  He shut the door to the older brother much like Esau and Jacob.  Jacob came home after many years, but there is no indication the relationship with Esau was renewed.  In fact, Jacob put a distance between him and Esau when peace was established.  It wasn’t that he feared his brother.  He  just knew who he was. 

Maybe some of you reading this article are being used and abused by a family member or church member.  More than likely you have tried to practice love, grace, and mercy.  I have come to figure out that shutting the door to such relationships is love, grace and mercy. 

I do love golf.  There is only one problem.  Golf does not love me.  

As a young adult, I could pull out the clubs and shoot in the 80’s and not blink twice.  I never took the game super seriously, so getting down to par (around 72) was probably not going to happen.  Shooting in the 80’s would work for me.  Most of the guys I played with struggled to break 100.  They would get very irritated when winter ended and the golf courses opened.  Here I show up and shoot an 84 while they tried their hardest to not take an “8” and break the hundred barrier.  In those days I loved the game and the game loved me.

That all changed in an instant.  I was playing flag football.  I was the quarterback and driving for a score.  Instead of pulling my flags, the big guy on the opposing team two-handed touched me right in the middle of my chest summersaulting me backwards.  Did you know that when a quarterback throws the ball ,his opposite arm and hand flies behind him?  Yeah, I didn’t either.  It does.  I figured it out when I got up from the hard hit and grabbed my wrist.  My arm was in the right place only my palm was up when it should have been down.  The wrist was a mess. Little did I know at that point but my arm had a splinter break of the bone.  It was going to be a long recovery.

The doctor wanted to operate.  He said the bones would not line up, and I would lose power in my left wrist.  I have a personal philosophy.  If you don’t have to cut open the body…don’t.  I told him to set it and let it go.  He warned me I would not be hitting homeruns as a softball player and ,if I played golf, there was going to be a slice.  He wasn’t kidding.  Instantly ,I had a banana slice.  

About the only fun I had with it was setting up for the slice with someone I never golfed with.  They would interrupt me when they noticed I lined up far left.  I told them to take a video.  They were about to see some amazing golf.  I figure I can hit the ball 300 yards.  The only problem is it travels 150 yards straight and 150 yards to the right.  

No use losing any sleep over it all.  I will never win the Master’s tournament.  Golf doesn’t put food on my table.  I’ll live.  Lately, with the help of my friend Bob Jarrell, I’ve been able to get the boomerang under control.  At least I can enjoy the game some.  

Today, I got in nine holes over at Okatie Creek.  I didn’t hit the ball all that bad.  I didn’t hit it all that good either.  I was disappointed.  Last week I shot a 44 on the back nine and was hoping good things were ahead.  

My friend noticed I was peeking.  In case you don’t know the game of golf, that’s when you lift your head and don’t keep it down with your eyes focused on the ball.  It’s hard to hit a good shot when you are not looking at the ball.  It’s a common golfers error.  An old friend said to “spit” where the ball once sat after you hit the ball.  He laughed, “That will keep your head down.”  Well, I wasn’t spitting today, and my head was all over the place.  

My buddy asked me if I knew why we pull our heads.  I answered, “We want to see where the shot went.”  He laughed once again.  “Nope,” he said with a smile.  He continued to educate me, “It’s our pride.”  It didn’t take long to admit he was right.  We want to admire our own shot instead of letting our playing partner follow the trajectory.  

We talked some more.  It’s like life actually.  Our pride takes our focus off the important things of life.  Those being God and our loved ones.  We don’t let things pan out as they should.  Each of us wants control.  So instead of spending some time in the Word of God ,I’d rather pull my head out of it and plan my day without being reminded God is in control.  Instead of focusing on my family, I’ll just hope they can catch up with me.  When they don’t, tempers flair.  Meanwhile, I miss connecting with them on an intimate, caring level.  

Just like golf, we blame everything else.  Let’s see, I’ve blamed the clubs, the turf, the ball, the lie, the weather, the grip, and the golf course.  There is a common denominator.  ME!  

When we focus on everything other than the grace and love of Jesus Christ, we are bound to get in some sort of trouble.  The sand traps of life are hard to miss when our heads are looking all around.  

We all have  some form of Attention Deficit Disorder.  Thank you Jesus our faith is not dependent upon us.  Instead, our faith is made whole by the one who kept his focus as he journeyed to the cross.  Our hope is indeed Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.  I just wonder one thing.  Can Jesus hit a one iron?  I can’t, even with my head down.

Sometimes I think I’m demented.  Something is wrong between the ears.  Those who know me are laughing right now, I’m sure of it.  Because I was born the last of four, my uncles used to joke that I was dropped at birth.  It’s safe to say my brain does not work the same as others.  My family was full of analytical brainiacs with accounting or mathematical analysis dominating our lineage.  Then along comes John.  

I could do the accounting.  I aced Accounting I and II as an Education major.  It didn’t make the business majors happy.  The only problem…I couldn’t stand it.  I don’t see the world in those terms.  I see colors.  I see so much more than two numbers added together.  Without question, I always felt like something was wrong, and maybe, just maybe, I was switched at birth.

That can’t be the answer.  I look like my father’s mini me.  At the end of the day, I’m more of a circular reasoner than a logical thinker.  It’s sort of like my kayaking treks.  Some people paddle down the river.  Not me.  I try every crossbow, inlet and swamp entrance I can find.  It takes the boring out of the paddle.  

I don’t know what anyone calls my condition.  I’m not sure anyone cares.  However, I love the context of the Bible, not just the words we read.  I want to know what Jesus laughed at.  We don’t find him laughing in the Scriptures.  He was a man, and he cried.  He had to laugh.  

I want to know what Jesus did for fun.  Did he play any of the popular games of the day?  Did they play “I Spy with My Little Eyes?”  How about “Would You Rather?”  I chuckle when I imagine Jesus playing “Would You Rather.”  I can see it now.  Jesus would be wrapping up the game with, “Now for the last one.  Would you rather spend eternity in hell or in heaven?”  See, I told you in the very first line.  I have a demented mind.

I would love to know what made Jesus cry when he came upon Lazarus’ family after he died.  I would love to know what Jesus talked about after his resurrection on the road to Emmaus.  I want to get an idea of the tone of his voice, especially when he puts the low down in a sense, on the Pharisees with the 7 Woes.  Sometimes I think we make Jesus like a robot.  No way!  Doesn’t a part of you want to know what kind of personality he had?  

I’ve been around some who make Jesus out to be passive-aggressive. Jesus to them is a cool, calm cookie looking to strike at the optimum moment.  Then there are those who make him out to be a Type A get-it-done type. Nobody wants to cast him as a Type D, but, then again, we sure don’t have him happy.  Maybe he was all three personality types. Actually, they now say there are 16 different types.  Really, my mind is swimming now.  My sarcastic side wonders if Jesus had a God-complex.  Yup, I’m close to losing it.  

I read recently where the Sermon on the Mount in the Bible is actually more than likely the CliffsNotes edition.  Do they still have CliffsNotes? They were the boiled down edition of the novel we were supposed to read and then write a book report about.  Those bad boys saved my grade point average without question.  Back to the main point.  The Sermon on the Mount is the edited version.  I want the unedited version.  Maybe then we can stop taking guesses about what “pure in spirit” really means.  

The older I get and the more I look into the Bible, I see colors.  I see so much more than the Bible teachers told me.  It’s a story.  It’s an incredible story.  In many respects, it’s an unbelievable story.  But that is just it.  It’s so incredible, but it fits together.  See, incredible stories don’t hold water.  This one does.  Unbelievable stories don’t have connection.  This one does.  

It really is a simple story.  We are the ones who make it an incredible story.  It’s God and a special creation called man.  Man has a problem.  He thinks he knows better than the One who set him up in an incredible situation.  Let’s face it.  None of us used to walk naked with God.  So man decided he knew better.  Then it all went south.  Most of the Bible is about how man tries to make it right.  He only has one problem.  He can’t.  God keeps trying to show him and grace keeps flowing, but man is so warped with the god complex that, no matter how hard he tries, he fails.  God gives man an out.  His name is Jesus.  He is the Son of God who came to set the captives free, bind the broken-hearted and give sight to the blind.  Man now has hope.  It rests in the sacrifice of Jesus.  All a man or woman has to do is believe and follow Jesus.  That’s it.  The early believers called it “The Way.”  I love it.  So beautiful.  They didn’t call it the First Church of whatever.  No sir.  It was “The Way.”  That’s about it.  

The gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John tell us what Jesus said about “The Way.” It’s pretty simple.  It boils down to…”Man’s way or God’s way?”  Man’s way has its problems.  God’s way is full of incredible love, indescribable grace and unbelievable mercy.  Now you choose.  Only, choose wisely.  

 I warned you I don’t think or process like the average joe. 

Sitting in the parking lot I was preparing for my next chaplain visit.  It takes time to build relationships when one serves as a chaplain.  One  stage in building relationships as a chaplain is hearing the  complaints.  Sometimes I don’t think I am a chaplain.  From time to time I think I’m the complaint department.  

Today I was walking into my first stop as a corporate chaplain.  Most of the employees I have known for years.  I can almost predict how the day will go, barring an emergency, death of a loved one, or somebody is about to get the dreaded pink slip.  Today was no different.  As I prayed before entering the front door, I asked Jesus to provide a means to change the day.  

As I entered the room, sure enough I heard the same complaints that flow every day and every week.  Management is dumber than a box of rocks.  Fellow employees are selfish.  Nobody understands, and, best yet, everybody is out to make their day miserable.  Of course somewhere mixed in the complaint department is the classic, “And they don’t pay me enough for this either” comment.  Today was the day it was time to turn the tables.

At first, I asked the loudest voice, “How long have you worked here?”  I knew he was a long- time employee and a long-time complainer.  “18 years,” he answered wondering where I was going to go with this.  “After working here for 18 years, I would have guessed you would have figured this out by now,” I replied without wavering.  My reply caught him off guard.  Suddenly, and I don’t know where it came from, I asked, “Instead of a complaint, tell me what you are thankful for today.”  He paused.  After a few seconds that seemed like hours, with a smile that I haven’t seen for some time, he answered, “My family.”  He turned and went to work.

The rest of the day,  to everyone I met, I explained that I had heard all the complaints that are possible in the workplace, and I wanted to know what they were thankful for.  Everyone answered with a smile.  A smile.  I encouraged everyone to work the rest of the day thankful.  I saw more smiles in one day than I have seen in a long time.

Complaining attitudes are infectious.  They infect our hearts, and infect those around us.  Our world is full of complaints.  It’s an attitude.  Everyone else is wrong.  When we are constantly complaining we don’t hear anyone else around us.  Often, there is a solution and a middle ground, but we can’t find it if we only want things our way.

Lately, I personally have eliminated the news media from my life.  It’s designed to promote complaining attitudes.  The Democrats blame the Republicans, and the Republicans fire back.  The various races want more, and it doesn’t matter what color we are.  Somehow we have forgotten we are all the same race…human.  In my world, husbands blame wives, and wives respond in kind.  Both blame the kids.  Employees never have anything nice to say about management, and management can’t find a good enough employee.  Customers are not always right.  Often they have no idea what they are talking about.   Complaining rules; love lays beaten on the floor.  

Recently, we started a Saturday night service called “Come As You Are.”  No need for a fake smile and deceptive attitude.  Come As You Are is more about our hearts; not our dress.  When we start the service, we begin with prayer.  We open it up to the audience, asking for prayers of thanksgiving.  I’m often surprised how hard it is for us to be thankful.  One person thought I was nuts when I thanked God for running water and flush toilets.  I’ve been in parts of this world without both.  I’m truly thankful.  

We offer prayers of thanks to put us in the mood to listen to a God who always provides, instead of having a bad attitude, expecting God to do things the way we want them done.  The apostle Paul said, “All things work together….”  To the Philippians who were undergoing persecution (beatings, torture rape and murder), Paul also wrote, “Whatever happens conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel.”  Say what?  The gospel is one of forgiveness, grace, love and mercy.  Jesus didn’t give us a single out.  He said to “love our enemies.”  Hold on!  At one time I thought the gospel was just about getting to heaven.  

The gospel is not about heaven.  It’s about Jesus.  Jesus laid his life down so we could have life.  “Life abundantly,” Paul declared.  A complaining attitude sucks the life right out of a room.  It also sucks the life right out of those we say we love.  No wonder we are encouraged to “give thanks.”  It’s then we are reminded that there is more to life ,and it’s more than “me.”  

He was on his knee declaring his love for her.  “I would do anything for you,” he declared.  Of course his plea was followed up with “I love you.  You know I do.”  He knew the words.  He knew her weak point.  She was caving and he knew it.

Of course his words were all lies.  He would not do anything.  He didn’t love her.  He loved himself.  He was lying to her.  Not only was he lying with his spoken words, he was lying by omission as well.  Only later when more information sneaked out behind the curtain of manipulation and deception would she realize its often not the words one says that are important.  It’s the words they don’t say.  

Our world is full of lies.  We often wonder what has happened to the younger generations.  What happened?  Just about every aspect of life lied to them.  Moms and Dads said their family was built on love, only to have it all crumble when one of them declares they want a divorce.  The politicians lie constantly, and we reelect the liars over and over again.  They declare what they are going to do and stand for, only to compromise when money, ego, and reputation stand in the way.  Education not only has failed; it has lied as well.  “Get a college degree,” they claim, only to find out four years later their major was obsolete.  

Recently, I have run into 3 college graduates, all whom I encouraged to get a college degree.  They were working low paying jobs, hating life, and wondering where they went wrong.  A college degree did nothing for them. The market was saturated within their field.  All they are told is “Good luck.”  

Parents have lied.  The government lied.  The schools lied.  The only thing left is the church.  With sadness in my heart, I must admit, “We lied too.”  

Right now I’m reading a book titled, Ten Dumb Things Smart Christians Believe by Larry Osborne.  He did an excellent job explaining the 10 points.  He was right.  We believe things we were taught to be true.  Open the Bible.  Study it (just don’t read it). It won’t take extremely long to find the 10 points.  Basically, we lied to sell a happy Jesus to a culture that doesn’t want a Jesus who says things that are tough to swallow at times.  We also put man in the center of our circle instead of Jesus.  When we do that, it is easy to manipulate the meaning of certain Scripture to be what we want it to be instead of becoming the people God wants us to be.  It doesn’t take much.  

On a missions trip, we became engaged with some Muslims.  Nobody pulled out a gun.  We had very meaningful interactions.  I was actually asked to convert to Islam.  The reasoning; “We believe in the same God,” the learned man declared.  “Instead of us becoming a Christian, you become a Muslim,” made sense to him.  As we debated his statement, one thing became clear.  He knew the Bible better than 95% of Christians I know.  Of course, if basically all we do is have a 5 minute devotional and attend on Sunday mornings for the preachers sermon, we are not going to “know” the Bible.  Truthfully, I’m not sure many can catch when a preacher drifts off of Biblical truth at any given time.  It’s easy to sway the unlearned.  Just ask the politicians; they are experts.  

A friend once said in a group meeting he feared that he has been lied to as a believer.  I didn’t have the heart to declare he probably has been.  The lie I bought hook, line and sinker was the idea that if I believe in Jesus, everything comes out o.k.  I’ve heard it preached.  I’ve been taught it.  Just obey and watch your life get better.  Tow the line, and, how does that one song go, …”everything will be o.k.”  Not true at all.  

Some days I wonder what has made me stay in the faith.  Why don’t I get out of church work and go back in the business world?  For some reason I can’t.  

Belief in Jesus is not about what I get.  It’s not about having hell insurance.  It’s not about quoting misapplied and out of context Bible verses to give me or anyone else hope.  Belief in Jesus as the Son of God is based on it being true.  That is the bottom line.  

It is the issue that was common through out the gospels.  Everyone loved the good and cool things Jesus did and said.  Till he declared, “I and the Father are one.”  They ran for the hills and crucified him.  Little did they know he would rise again.  Is this true?  If it isn’t ,anyone declaring Christ has been lied to once again.

Is it true?  Only you can answer that one.  If it is true, it’s a life changer.  Literally.  A friend of mine who never read the Bible was given one in college.  He was encouraged to read the book of John.  He did.  His roommate asked him what he thought.  He replied, “If this is true, I’m screwed.”  Well, he wasn’t, as he determined under careful analysis that indeed the declarations and work of Jesus were true.  Hold on to that one.  It’s all we need.  Don’t worry about changing your life; it will.  Jesus declared it, and it is true.  Now read the Bible with Jesus as your lens, not man.  It makes a lot of sense that way.